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Finding common ground with "true believers"


How do we find common ground with people that believe differently than we do and refuse to accept evidence that they’re “wrong”?  They insist any evidence that hurts their position is not true, made up or false.

Go back to “acceptance heals” and “example is the most powerful form of leadership”.  I search for my deeply held beliefs that would require a great deal to convince me they are not true.  The question to ask is, “does believing in this make my life better or not?”   Share that some of our beliefs have changed.  I had to change them for my own peace of mind.  Sharing our example of how our beliefs have changed to improve our life helps others do the same.

Reciting facts and evidence hasn’t worked.  Only being conscious of the suffering created by specific beliefs has been enough to change those beliefs.

I hurt my back some time ago.  Nothing seemed to be working in healing it; not physical therapy, not chiropractic, not rest.  I really didn’t want to have surgery.  Those I know who’ve had back surgery  found surgery didn’t solve their back problems.  The pain of even thinking I might not be able to play tennis again was a pain I couldn’t tolerate.  I looked to meditation for help.  Round after round I would have cathartic releases as I healed faulty thinking through acceptance.  Each round of tearful letting go healed more of my faulty thinking, " I could satisfy my need to feel connected by spending more time with friends".  With each round, the pain became less.  My acceptance grew with each round of healing, that it is a fact that only being more connected and accepting of myself gives me the level of connectedness I crave.  Eventually I tried walking without a cane.  I was afraid I’d fall.  I told myself if I was ever going to play tennis again, there would have to be a first day of walking without a cane.  Even though I didn’t know how it would work out, I had to try.    I haven’t used a cane since.

I have other beliefs that are causing me pain that I’m working on healing through acceptance.  I have the belief I can’t make spiritual principles work in creating the world I want.  The pain associated with that thought is more than I’m willing to tolerate.  Any effort I make to create a loving, kind, supportive, peaceful safe world, reduces that pain.

Accepting the pain I create for myself helps me empathize with others who are doing the same.  Because example is the most powerful form of leadership, I am sharing my example of healing through acceptance.  As I accept the thoughts that create pain in my life, I find strength and determination as I accept and act on more accurate thoughts. Those thoughts include, “I, and everyone else, possess the ability to realize our hopes and dreams.”

As much as I’ve tried to be willing to voluntarily  heal false thoughts that create suffering, some inaccurate thoughts are so familiar they escape my detection.  Those thoughts eventually create so much pain I am forced to acknowledge and heal them through acceptance.  And, my willingness to accept the truth of ever deeper wisdom has helped me avoid many problems I believe would otherwise have marred my life.

We need to accept in or life and share with others that beliefs are thoughts, and like all thoughts, may or may not be true.  We have the power to choose which thoughts we act on and which we let go.   That is true freedom.  This is how we help ourselves and others change our beliefs for the better.

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